I have hit a stall in my direction. Where am I going? What am I doing with my life? It all hit me today as I followed along the hallway after a dreadful exam in which I have no expectations of doing well on. As I walked with my head down, in sad somber frustration never straying from the constant rows of squarely placed tiles, I wondered if this is it. Do I just continue to follow the path I am on, without looking up? Where does it lead? Does it matter? It’s not that I am unhappy with the path that I am on, but does it ultimately bring me anywhere near where I want to end up? I am beginning to grow restless in my current conditions, they feel stagnant and monotonous… isn’t there something else I can be doing? Isn’t there something more inspiring, something more rewarding, something more challenging? It’s amazing to think that two years ago I couldn’t picture myself anywhere else but in school, and now I feel like I could be doing so many more productive things than school. Why this sudden change of motive? Perhaps because I suddenly came to the realization that despite the fact if I finish my degree or not, I am left without a career direction... I just want to GO, yet I feel like so many things hold me back, including my own inhibition. I want to go “to the desperate eyes and reaching hands, to the suffering and the lame, to the ones the world has cast aside” I will go – send me. I want my life to be used for change, I want there to be more than just this… I refuse to settle for less than anything I can see myself obtaining. So many obstacles… I just need to make my way back to my source of strength… and then, nothing is impossible…
